Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
