ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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