you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
