Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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