There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
