maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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