His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I need to align my fucking chakras
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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