The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
