Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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