I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my shit smells like andre
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
