Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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