The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
