I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
His nipple licking is glorious
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