Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
