Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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