I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
