Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
