we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
