I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
