There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
