You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
