Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
