theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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