please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
