i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
