currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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