Kiss
Puke
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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