maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
