508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
