ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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