i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
