another moral hangover. fuck.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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