Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
