I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
