i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
