he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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