Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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