goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
