I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
