He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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