I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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