I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize