I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
