I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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