When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
