the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
