I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
