Where are you?
In a non slutty way
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
