glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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