rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
