so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
