Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
