Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
