There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
