So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize