i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
