I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
