i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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