I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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